Korea - 2nd day, part 2

After having breakfast, we walked out, the cold breeze was tolerable after a hot bowl of soup and some spicy kimchi. so me and my sister started to look for any signboard that's useful to us.

but of coz, the scenery along the road was so nice, we couldn't stop snapping photos. until we finally saw another signboard at the end of the street, we stopped...

It is of no use to us again, coz there's no english words again except that bloody Jirisan National Park... hell, of coz we know it's Jirisan!! but anyway, at least, we kinda knew where our exact spot was by then... see the close-up:


Then after a few more steps, we arrived at the tourist info booth but maybe because it's still too early (it must be only 6.30am or so)... but from there, we finally saw the entrance to the national park... so protocol, photo must be taken!

And finally this time we saw more English words... haha, and finally get to know the story of this Baemsagol Valley... i'll just let the pictures tell the stories...

and then we got to see this signboard which highlights the 2 routes that we can take and the time needed...

both trails need about 1 hour to complete, but we decided to take the blue trail first because we have very limited time and the blue trail will bring us back to the entrance but the red trail will bring us to the other point, and we probably will need another 1 hour back from there...

so off we go, we walked along the blue trail.... crossed the bridge, and walked towards the camping site...

If you see it from the other side, maple trees of different colors appear before your eyes... it's really great just to be there and the feeling was indescribable... so, again, a photo has to be taken!!

I was a happy boy with all these purple, red, yellow, orange, green maple leaves surrounding me... it felt magical!!
of course it wasn't as "bloody" red as i expected them to be, but the splash of so many colours amazed me a lot! i think it's better than a monotonous full of red. :)

ASEACC

3rd Annual South East Asia Cinema Conference

Have just attended this 4 days conference from last thursday until sunday, so exhausting but definite gain a lot and see a lot. Not only i get more ideas in writing my PhD thesis, also it strengthen my will to shoot my own production soon.

comparing this conference to the previous one i attended in Korea, this one is definitely more focused - it only talked about cinema and film. speakers were allocated more time and interactions. the topics and area of discussion were so diversed - ranged from Filipino to Vietnamese's films, from independent digital filmmaking to queer cinema, from urban identities to sexuality. Not only the topics are diversed, the format of the conference too impressed me - a good combination of academic presentations, panel discussion with festival people, workshop with indie filmmakers...

i truly enjoyed the conference. next year it will be held in Jakarta, Indonesia. hope i can present paper next time.

Korea - 2nd day, part 1

26th October 2006

WOKE UP, for a moment i forgot i was already in Korea... next thing i noticed was my 2 legs were numb... and my whole body was so cold, freezing cold... i tried to touch my legs, they were as cold as ice i can hardly feel the warmth of the blood at all... then i suddenly realized, gosh i AM in Korea, and i remembered very well the night before the room was as hot as an oven!! must be the bloody ajumma and ajoshi switched off the heater already, so damn cold.

checked the clock, it's 4.30am... damn, still a long time to dawn... i quickly took out my long john and put them on, took another blanket and covered myself... still too cold... i took out 2 sets of socks and put them on too... now i felt my bladers were full too... couldn't help i have to make that trip... i quickly put on my jeans (i still have the long john on)... i walked out and felt myself has become so clumsy... i entered the not-so-clean toilet, couldn't help... quickly squat down, GOSH my butt could feel the cold air... but it has to be done...

*here skip 2 paragraphs of details* haha

after about 15 minutes finally i got all my business done coz the day before i have never "done" it, i probably fell sick for that, that's why i have to get it all out... ok, too much details i guess, haha! then i tried to flush... it's a very old-school flush system... once... flaaaaa.... didn't really work... i stood there and wait for another 3 minutes for it to refill... then flushed again.... flaaaaa.... didn't work too... another 3 minutes... flaaaaa.... still not working... i got fed up, so i went to the bathroom next door, took the pile and filled it up with water and manually flushed the **** down... hahaha... finally...

when i got back to the room, it must be about 5.15am already... my sister was sitting up looking at me... i thought she must have felt too cold too... hahaha... i went in our bathroom to check... damn, no hot water too... i quickly washed my face with the icy tap water, changed into my winter clothing, haha, and cursed the bloody ajumma... hahaha... i should not curse... i didn't , i just exaggerating...

after just a short while, the sun come out and it's all shiny and everything, i looked out the window, mmm... there's actually river and brigde just opposite our homestay and it's actually quite pretty... i could see a few maple trees from the room already... me and my sis decided that no point we stayed in the room. it's so cold, we might as well just walk out and look around and perhaps find some breakfast to eat.

so around 6am, we walked down the stair and to the street... here in the photos, the red arrow is pointing to the room we were staying. and this street is the only street in this small town, or so we thought...



and this is the river that i talked about... pretty or not??


then i saw this big signboard which illustrates the whole Jirisan...

when i took a closer look, it is not really helpful at all because... you guess it right again! - NO ENGLISH... sigh... the only 5 English words are "information of Chiri National Park". Don't worry, we were not in the wrong park, Chiri and Jiri are the same... unlike Cheongju and Jeonju they are different!!! so damn confusing!! sometimes "ch" can replace "j", sometimes it can't!!! gosh... hahaha! so since it's not really of any use to us, we walked down the street hoping to find breakfast... i got too hungry and decided we just go back to the ajumma's place for breakfast...

when we walked in the restaurant, the ajumma was still sleeping on the heated floor... reminded me of how i was waken up by the coldness... damn... the ajoshi was smoking with another ajoshi, either a friend or a guest and he quickly woke up the ajumma... we walked up the wooden floor... awwww... so warm... (bloody hell)... we sat down, the ajumma just did her eating gesture, we nodded... and she didn't even bother to ask us what we want to eat and walked straight into the kitchen... haha, i guess she has figured out that we couldn't communicate anyway, so she just made her own decision of what we should eat. hahaha...

and tada, you can all see the picture above... that's our breakfast... the truth is the beansprout soup was super nice because it's hot!! just nice for my empty cold stomach!! but the kimchi... hahaha, again they were too hot for me! i didn't finish all, i don't really eat breakfast... somemore it's 6am so early... and Malaysia time was only 5am!

we took our time to eat, coz it's really cold outside... after we have finished, we paid, if i'm not wrong, won10000 or RM40... and then, we started our first travel itinerary - Baemsagol Valley, Jirisan Park...

just a teaser, so that you stay tune... this is one of the picture we snapped there...

from now on, there will be a lot of photos... so many that you will beg me to stop... hahaha... so, stay tune!!! coming soon...

Korea - the 1st day - 2nd part

25th October 2006 late afternoon

Ok, i woke up around 3.10pm, the bus was still on the road. i was getting a bit sick of the scenery outside, and thinking to myself why the hell i'm here? then, the bus slowly approaching a ... temple... err... yeah it looks like a temple to me... oh no, it's actually a toll!! goodness...

i checked my watch again, mmm... 3.15pm... we might just make it to the 3.30pm bus to Baemsagol. i was so hopeful. but very fast, the bus caught up in the traffic, stopped by a few places, i kept on looking around if those were the places i supposed to stop... but i supposed i shall only leave the bus when it TOTALLY stop... so i still waited... 3.20pm... 3.25... 3.28... up til this point, i know my chance has gone. buses in korea are very punctual one.

true enough, we reached Jeonju bus terminal 3.35pm, ran straight to the counter and was informed that 3.30pm already left. the counter lady was very helpful... mmm... too helpful that she suggested us instead of waiting for the 5.05pm last direct bus to Baemsagol, we could consider taking a bus to Inwol (引月) and there will have more buses going to Baemsagol... okay, i GUESSED that's what she meant!!! i don't think i will understand any of them fully with 1% English 50% Korean & 49% body language...

At this stage, me and my sister exchanged eye contact, and we just purchased the tickets to Inwol without thinking. i think we both were really tired and whatever will be will be lah... you said so we trust you... hahaha... and by the way, i like the name of the city very much, very poetic! well, is it even a CITY?? we shall find out soon... haha...

3.50pm, we were on the bus again!! and i don't think i've ever changed so many buses before in my life. worse still, in a foreign country to an unknown destination... the bus went into more rural area now, the roads became narrower, the sceneries became browner, houses became smaller and simpler... passengers got on the bus would talk and joke with the bus driver. at this point of time, we knew, we were going into some village area.


the bus stopped for a few more times, then it reached a small station around 5.10pm. everyone on the bus left. the bus driver stepped out from his seat, talked to us in Korean, which of course i don't understand a single word except "Baemsagol, Baemsagol". he signalled us to follow him with his hand, but we were not sure whether we shall go down or wait, moreover we have big heavy bags with us, we were not sure whether to leave the bags and follow him down or what? we slowly lifted our bags, the driver got impatient, walked up the bus and talked to us louder this time, so we were pretty sure we WERE supposed to follow him. we quickly moved our butts and followed his lead to yet ANOTHER bus... sigh... i asked the driver don't we need to buy tickets, he just shaked his head and pushed us up the bus... gosh... i felt so insecure.

we walked up the other bus, i asked the other driver how much... he didn't seem to understand me, he just pointed to the seats and hurried us in. apparently he has to leave already. before we could even sit down, the bus has started to leave the small small station, which we suspected is not Imwol... where were we?? i felt so damn lost...

here are a couple of photos my sister took on that journey...


Pretty they are, but i was not in the mood to appreciate them that time. i was too busy feeling insecure, as you all can see, it was getting dark and the place was getting more and more "ulu" now... and we were not sure whether we got on THE correct bus or not...

more students came up the bus, making noise, shouting to each other... the bus stopped by the side of the road, the driver shouted at the few kids at the back, those kids walked down and waved goodbye to the driver and some of their friends still on the bus... few aunties hopped on the bus... and it was completely dark outside just few minutes shy of 6pm... we went deeper and deeper in...

until about 6.10pm i think, the bus stopped by a gate/entrance, which suddenly i felt relief coz i was pretty sure it was the entrance for the Jirisan National Park. an uncle came up the bus, walked to us and uttered more Korean words, but by tearing 2 tickets in front of us, I think i know what to do. i checked the price stated on the ticket and gave him Won3200 (RM12.8) for 2 tickets. the bus continued into the darkness again... after 10 more minutes or shorter i was not sure anymore, we stopped at I-don't-know-where-the-hell street and we walked to the front of the bus (only left 2 of us), and the driver said "3 thousand won"... i knew we were there already. to double check i asked "here is Baemsagol", the driver answered "yeah yeah".

we walked down the bus, freeziing cold and dark street, just 1 row of shops and NO ONE is around... it's like a DEAD town... we were so so so so so lost... then out of the sudden, an aunty walked out from the 1st restaurant and started talking to us in Korean... &@%$^*!%#$*^@!#!*%... which we waved our hands and said "we are not Koreans"... the aunty then mimed a sleeping gesture by putting her hands to her canted head and said "min-bak? min-bak?" thanks to my sister who watched Korean dramas faithfully she understand min-bak means "homestay"... too tired to think, and desperately need a rest and a place to put down our bags that were getting HEAVIER, we agreed to go upstair with her.


we walked up the stair, walked passed a dimly lit and wet (dirty) corridor, and reached a room. the ajumma (aunty) opened the door. my sister said okay, i guess she was just to tired to think anymore. we asked for the price, ajumma said "yee-man-wu-qian-won"... which i thought it means 15000 won (RM60) which is quite cheap for a room with TV and attached bathroom... but looking at her finger, she pointed 2 fingers up, only i realized in Korean, "yee" means "two"... so it is actually won25000 (RM100)... well i was tired too, so i took out the money and paid her. she smiled at us and left...

wait a minute, isn't she supposed to give us a key or something?? then only later i found out that no key will be given and it's actually SAFE to leave the room unlocked.

so here you go, my accomodation for the first night in Korea. it's called a "ondol". lay maitress on the heated floor, and you can go to sleep already. not bad an experience.

after putting down the bags and tidy tidy a bit, we decided to go down take a look at the street and perhaps ask some information about hiking Jirisan. we walked to the nearest convenient shop, which we came to realize owned by the same ajumma renting us the room... so using our not so useful English, and her not so useful Korean, i think we got a faint idea of what we should do tomorrow morning. and suddenly we felt hungry and decided to go look for dinner. and we ended up having our first dinner in the restaurant owned by the ajumma too... hahahaha.... ok ok we were hopelessly tired and lost all our adventurous spirit. hahahah... but the dinner was actually pretty good.


We had bimbap (which means mixed rice with vegetables in soya paste or something) and kimchi tofu soup or something... okay, you guess correctly, we didn't even know what we ordered because again, communication breakdown. so we just simply point point here and point poin there, have our fingers crossed and hope for the best. wuahahaha.

so, not bad hor by the look of it... the turth is, only the bimbap is nice... the rest are either too salty or too hot. YES, you heard me right, too hot!! i don't mean the temperature, i mean the "spicy-ness"... we MALAYSIAN kalah lah if compare the hotness of the food there! the kimchi soup and most of the kimchi side dishes were so hot that we couldn't finished them. then the ajumma and her husband and family were having their dinner too on the next table. we took a peek of the uncle (ajoshi) eating whole green chili with red chilli paste just like that!!! pengsan terus... when the ajoshi noticed us looking at him, he offered us those green chillies, which we quickly rejected... then he offered us "shou-ju" (rice liquor), which we also quickly rejected... wa lao wei, these people really enjoy life hor!!! wuahahaha!!!

after dinner, we paid (won12000 or RM48) and went up to our room to take bath... my sister then realized there's no HOT water to bath... so i went down to the ajumma to ask... now i again mimed like a crazy charlie chaplin, repeat "hot hot? water water? bath bath?" like a million times... the family looks puzzled, the younger daughter broke into laughters, the ajumma brought out a pile, i shaked my head, tried harder to explain, the ajumma brought out another ladle... i gave up. i thanked them and walked up. my sister was very upset coz there's no way we could take the bath with the icy water in a freezing weather.

i decided to give it another try. this time i brought along a travel guide which it teaches how to pronounce "hot water" but of course they mean to order hot water to drink lah... but it's worth a try... so i asked the ajumma with my half past six Korean "mul? mul?" she thought i want water to drink... then i did my famous taking bath gesture again... still she didn't get me... i then pointed to the water filter and pointed to the red button (indicating hot water), then repeated the bathing gesture again... then finally the ajoshi understood... he also mimed the gesture of turning the water tap to left hand side... (of course we have tried turning the tap to left, we are not idiots, but it didn't work)... well, i very malas to explain any further, just thanked them and went upstair to tell my sis the bad news...

ok, so we decided to do as they said, but left the water running for longer time. after about 3 minutes, the water turned to hot... yahoooo!! bathing time!!! it got so hot i nearly got burnt!! hehehe... and the floor was very well-heated too... i changed to my singlet and short pants... and quickly fell asleep....

to be continued... the next morning when i became the iced-leg-man... :P

Korea - the 1st day - 1st part

24th October 2006

KLIA, me and my sister are taking Cathay Pacific flight from KL to HK. we were there around 3.30pm to catch the 5.55pm flight. Reached HK airport by 10pm to transit to Incheon by 12.20am.

so for 3 hours there, we wandered around the magazine shop where i bumped into some porn magazine that displayed shamelessly (haha), this amazed me! then we rest at the food court area... didn't buy any food, my sis slept for a while, and i was busy preparing my powerpoint presentation with my laptop there. it was so quiet, 90% of the stalls have already stopped their business for the day, the cleaning ladies came out to work. so we left that area and proceed to the departure gate 25 for our flight.

25th October 2006

The flight was on time. we had our supper on plane and i was hoping to catch "the lake house", but was too tired and dozed off. later about 3am i was awake by this severe headache, more like a migraine or electric shocks, that maybe due to the pressure change... didn't know i have that problem. but luckily we were about to arrive at Incheon in less than half an hour time... so i rubbed my head.

We arrived 3.40am or Korea time 4.40am, and in this early morning, me and my sister were stopped by the imigration officers and were detained for interrogation. i was so blurred i didn't know what happen but just follow the direction given by the officer and went into the room. later i saw my sister walked in too. the female officer hold a small microscopic lens and inspected every single page of my passport, same thing to my sister's too. the male officer who's infront of my sis kept on asking her what's her purpose of going into Korea. i found the whole thing funny though. after about 10 minutes i finally realized i could be held here for a long time... so i asked the lady what seems to be the problem?... then only she threw me a smile and explain that Malaysian passports are easy to forge. mmm... so by then i was a suspected "jump aeroplane" person. then finally she asked me the million dollars question of why i went to Korea, so i answered her for conference. her eyes sparked a bit and asked for any documentation to prove, for that i passed her the invitation letter of the conference. then another officer (of higher rank) was called in and after a while we were released.
about 5.30 in the morning, nothing was opened, we wandered the airport to familiarize ourselves and to look for any information booth. the first thing we did is to rent a handphone of GSM system and insert my sis's sim card in. Tada it works wonderfully, it was so easy.

Then we found a spot and sat down, can't sleep at all... i guess we were too shaken by the imigration drama. haha. we waited until 6.30am when most of the counters and shops started business. we approached a few airlines like Korean Air and Asiana Air for tickets from Gwangju to Jejudo after my conference, but to my surprise they were ALL FULL... which made us panicked cause it would ruin and totally change our traveling plan...

Here is our original plan:
25/10 - morning take bus to Cheongju, reach there by afternoon for Hotspring and flower rice. evening take bus to Namwon to stay a night.
26/10 - morning going to Jirisan national park to hike and to experience autumn red maple forest. afternoon take bus to Gwangju and i'll be able to attend the welcoming dinner.
27-29/10 - my conference. then by 29/10 evening we take plane to Jeju
30-31/10 - tour around Jejudo and shall take the earliest flight on 31/10 back to Seoul/Gimpo airport, then the rest of the day until 1/11 will be at Seoul before our flight back to Malaysia on 11am.

but now, if there's no ticket from Gwangju to Jejudo, we sorta wanna change our plan to go Jejudo first then take a reverse plan to tour all the way up north... so we checked with airline and it seems that all flights to Jejudo from Incheon was also FULL until late evening.... OMG!!

We got panicked, until 7.30am when the famous travel information booth opened, we quickly ran there to seek for advice... i shall skip all the craps... and go straight to 8.15am... yes, we spent 45 full minutes there asked this and that... there must be 10 different plans, and we finally settled to go to Cheongju by airport limousine bus (original plan). the girl at the counter was very helpful. she phoned to another person and confirmed that there's a direct bus from Cheongju to Jirisan national park and we can stay a night at Baemsagol Valley which is located inside the Jirisan. she pointed us to the correct gate and taught us patiently how to buy ticket from which counter and how much... so we just followed and finally got our tickets 8.30am... then only we realized we were so HUNGRY. my sister quickly ran to a shop to buy roti and milk while i went to find the correct bus and hold it. it was a pain in the a** for there's no English word at all and people there don't speak English at all. so i have to compare the Korean words printed on my ticket to every bus and finally found it... my sister ran in on time and the bus left punctually 8.30am... phew....

the girl at the information booth told us it will take 4 hours to reach Cheongju, so we expected to reach there by 12.30pm. so we slept and slept. i woke up around 11am, and just a while later we arrived at Cheongju...
WAIT A MINUTE... aren't we supposed to only reach here by 12.30pm?? how come now only 11.20am dah sampai pun??

anyway, since we were already here, so nevermind lah, early is better than late mah... we didn't suspect anything wrong. then just when we stepped down the bus, we saw another tourist information center, so we happily went in hoping to get more information. the girls inside the center were so so helpful and friendly. only 1 girl - i think called Minghyang or MingYung or something, their name sounds all the same... - who can speak good English. and shockingly to us, there's NO direct bus from Cheongju to Jirisan as been told to us by the girl in Incheon!!!! *add thunder storm sound here*

So, we showed Minghyang the plan laid down by the Incheon girl, and she told us laughingly that we have come to the WRONG city!! the Incheon girl meant "Jeonju" and not "Cheongju"... pengsan terus...!!! no wonder so fast reached liao lah, kononnya Jeonju is yet another hour away from Cheongju... GOODNESS!

But not to worry, Minghyang said, since you are here might as well visit some of the tourist spots here lor... she recommended some fortress and paper museum, but we were having the hotspring and flower rice in our mind. then she checked checked and come back to us with yet another shocking news - if we want to catch the last bus to Jirisan, we only left a little less than 1&half hours in Cheongju, which means hotspring and flower rice are just too far from us!! so we suggested take taxi there, we rather pay more money than doing nothing there... so this very helpful girl walked us to the taxi stand across the road and checked with the driver, and again we were so disappointed to find out that to take taxi to the flower rice will take us 20 minutes, to and fro 40 minutes, which means we only have less than 40 minutes... sigh...

no choice, Minghyang then suggested us to take bus to the nearby paper museum. we waited at the busstop where i suddenly miraculously know how to read Korean words on the electronic board and found out we have to wait for another 22minutes before the next bus arrived. i confirmed it by miming to the ajumma (aunty) there... so me and sister decided not to go anywhere but to find ourselves some lunch and hop on to the earlier bus to Jeonju then to Jirisan.

We went to the nearest shopping mall, if not mistaken it's LotteMart... and immediately my sister was all hyped up! why? because she found a bakery called "Paris Baguette", not because the bread there are of any special but because the spokeperson for the bakery is Hyun Bin - her idol. she snapped snapped some photos, and the ajumma inside started to giggle and a few of them started to gossip. we left the bakery without buying anything.

then we stopped by a fastfood restaurant because we can't find anything decent to eat. so we decided to have something safe. it's called Lotteria, and we have a rice burger with some cheese roll and mixed salad. quite yummy the rice burger. not bad not bad. for 2 sets of the meal, it costs us Won8500, which is RM34 (expensive also hor). only problem is we went thru hard time explaining what we wanted to order cause again they don't speak English not even a single word... sigh...

Then we went back to the information center, told Minghyang that we didn't go anywhere, she was so surprised... we took our bags and laptop that we left there earlier and proceed to the bus terminal.

This time we were extra careful when purchasing ticket, cause we didn't want to end up in Seongju or Keongju. so we have already asked Minghyang to write us our destination and plan in Korean on a piece of paper.


We went to the counter and showed them the paper and asked for 2 tickets. and this time we were quite sure we got on the correct bus. i think we must have left Cheongju around 2pm. We should reached Jeonju 3.30pm so that we can catch the 2nd last bus to Baemsagol by 3.30pm too, or else we would have to wait for the last bus which was 5.05pm... and yes, that day must be our unlucky day, we reached Jeonju 3.35pm, and the 2nd last bus has left....

to be continued...

The early morning radio show

It was 19th October, a fine thursday night. i have just finished watching "Open season" on IMAX and have been both amazed and tired of experiencing the 3D effect (again, last time was "Polar Express"). After saying goodbye to my friends in Times Square, i sped my way to Angkasapuri, get lost for a while cause the hidden entrance was so freaking hard to find! finally by 11.20pm, i managed to, after much worried and frustrated, find the glitzing grand entrance of our famous government owned radio and television stations - RTM.

This was not my first time here, last time i was visiting my friend who worked there as news editor, so i was very well awared of the procedure of surrendering my identity card and some interrogation... haha... like visiting palace like that. then i walked my way toward the radio building and looked for AiFM. when i walked pass a whole stretch of radio studios, i can feel the coldness, not only from the centralized air-cond, but also of the clean empty well-lit corridor, which really was lacked of human warmth, and i wonder to myself - who would want to work here? it's the feeling of loneliness that killed me.

Half way through the corridor i found AiFM, i showed myself in to the guest room and i saw JiAn (the DJ) and Ho YuHang (film director) were inside the recording studio doing the 1st 2 hours of the show. I was scheduled for the 2nd half which is very much graveyard 12-2am. it was a torture for old man like me to stay up and awake after 12am nowadays, and of course the DJ noticed this, so this has been some sort of practical joke for the programme that whole morning... sigh...

so, how was the show? i must say... boring... maybe because of the topic we discussed, or maybe because of the mode of delivery, or maybe it's due to the content that lacks depths, or even maybe due to the late hours, i can't help yawning...

2 films we discussed. the 1st hour we talked about "the sound of music", the ever ever classic musical. and the 2nd hour we talked about "dancer in the dark", the ever ever cult musical. i told JiAn that for the classic i will mainly focus on my nostalgic but faint memories of watching it, hence it'll be mainly personal, but for the cult i would really like to discuss the inconventional usage of musics as motif and style. but i have to confess that i was and am still disappointed that we ended up recalling the plots and playing the songs.

i have to admit that i'm not familiar with the show at all... maybe his format is like that - talking about plots... but i'm sure that's not the case with other guests like Tsai MingLiang or Yasmin Ahmad... maybe it's me... i don't know... maybe because of the DJ's lack of interest in musical genre. OK, i was the one who wanted and suggested the topic - musical films, and JiAn already told me that he wasn't too familiar with musicals, and even he is kinda cynical towards musics in films. He believes that if films can touch people without music, why do we need music? and he also expressed his disgust of the "abuse" of music in most Hollywood films. i dare not agree at all.

here's my arguments! i studied music, i played piano, i learned music theory, i have my diploma in pianoforte performance. to me, music is an expressive channel. musicians use music to express their love, hate, passion, anger, without the help of visuals. musics has its own history thousand of years before film. So, i always believe that if use properly, music can be a very effective element in telling film stories. let's not condemn music simply because a few films overload with meaningless music. i can give you tons of examples, but i guess i'll save this for future post.

that's the reason why i would like to talk about musical on his show - to argue for the importance of music in movie, and to talk about few films that creatively use music... but we ended up talking craps... i was also deeply disappointed of myself not being able to uphold my intention due to the domination of the DJ, just like i was told by a few friends that the DJ was doing perhaps 80% of talking. it is not easy to cut in an unplanned speech of an agressive DJ. i was known as the most, if not second most, sarcastic lecturer in my university, or even my ex-college... but i was shot down that night - for my age, my job as lecturer in an "university", and my all-so-mainstream taste of films - which i unwillingly laugh it off during the show. it's pointless to argue with a young and talented DJ, which only will make me 'sound' shallow on air.

ok, i'm not here to backfire or anything, if i want to talk bad about this i may go on and on for 2 nights. in fact i'm flattered that an unknown guy like me was invited to a national radio to talk about films, and i admire his (the DJ) passion towards films - i mean how many people will dare to host a radio show about films? more so, with an intention to promote local films and independent and alternative films. but i told JiAn over the phone 2 weeks before the show that radio is just not THE medium to do show like this. i meant to say that radio is mainly an "audio" medium, hence it is weak to convey a "visual" medium like films. Television will be a perfect medium. but i still think the show is necessary looking at the lack of programme of this kind. some TV programmes are targeting movies, but they are just a mere promotional tool to promote mainstream commercial movies, nothing critical. hence, i still think the shows should go on. so, gambatte JiAn.

I'm back!

ok, i "was" back last wednesday night. touched ground 7pm and damn drained out. Korea is okay, i have had so many wonderful experience and have done some soul searching too. so, all-in-all this trip is worth every single cent that i spent. i'll definitely go back again, maybe end of 2007 or 2008.

10 impressions about Korea & Koreans

1. They are driving in the different direction, so Malaysian license holders cannot drive there. and i have a hard time accustom myself to "look left" rather than "look right" when walk across roads! (nearly got banged few times)

2. Koreans are so good looking!! okay, apart from the surgery thing, they go out wearing great attires!! men wear formal tie with suits, girls all make-up and wear fancy dress... the view on the street is nice and eye-feasting.

3. Koreans are nice people. I'm not surprised if it's one of the countries with lowest crime rate. the atmosphere is so peaceful. even if you leave your laptop or handphone on the table, no one is going to steal it! stealing and cheating are just not any part of their lives.

4. Another prove is no one is going sit on the seat for handicaps or senior citizens on subway trains... i mean none!! unlike malaysia. even if the trains are totally full, the young and trendy and hip teenagers will not even sit on those seats!! i'm genuinely impressed!

5. They are really helpful people... ok, although most of them are of no help because they can't speak a word of English, but they are STILL helpful people. even if you have made known to them that you don't know Korean, they will still try to help you by speaking non-stop Korean, as if you somehow will miraculously understand them! hehe...

6. They are really warm people. Most time when we met a group of unlces and aunties, they ill extend their friendship, hand you some food and drinks, give you a ride, bring you personally to the place you ask for eventhough it means walking away from their work for 10 minutes!!!

7. Their food is always red in colour!! hehe... okay, and most of the food are vegetable, they seldom have meat. and Koreans love spicy and hot food!! some are so hot, i as malaysian also have to admit "kalah"... and yes, most of the food are also fermented... my sister on the way back told me that "the whole country has this fermented smell" and too much of the smell makes her sick!

8. cosmetic and facial masks are really cheap there!! no wonder people there have so beautiful and translucent skin texture! okay, i've bought a lot of facial masks too! :P

9. Korea is not a "friendly" place for foreign travellers, especially backpackers... cause it's really really hard to navigate around Korea for there is NO english words at all!! no english on road signs, billboards, notices, public transportation, ticket counters... and to make it worse, most Koreans don't speak English at all!!! so you better bring along your english-korean dictionary, or follow tour where the tour guide will do the job for you.

10. It's FREAKING expensive in Korea... bring a lot of dough or you shall starve to death!! one proper fried rice in Korea is close to RM20 per plate. a bottle of mineral water is about RM2.50. BBQ set for 2 person is close to RM200. youth hostel or even homestay are about RM100 per small room. proper hotel room cost about RM200 or more!!

Lost my voice...

i lost my voice. my throat was getting dry, there's sign yesterday. and this morning i woke up realizing my voice has gone... so i figure writing is my next solution. damn the bloody haze!

update...

school reopened, the kids are back to the circus, life is again full of endless classes, supervisions and meetings. but i guess it's time for me to step back to become an observer like before, i like to be a hunter and not otherwise.

many things happened/happen/happening recently, which got me again thinking and questioning about my next big move. after a short chat with Yasmin Ahmad over dinner yesterday, i suddenly relive my passion for filmmaking, yet again. i always like storytelling, i have tons of stories in my balding head urging to come out... but where is my passion? i'm waiting for a perfect timing, but i guess it will never be perfect. i just have to start somewhere.

Towards the end of the dinner, she asked, "what do you think constitutes good screenplay?" and it did sound like a test to me nonetheless. :) i was speechless, i struggled with my answer. being an educator, we have a syllabus to follow, we read books written by both academicians and industry people, and i don't think those are the answers to her. i know damn well about conflicts, characters, structures, climax, turn of events, subtext, context, whatevertext, blahblahblah! but the truth is, i was never fully convinced these are the ultimate answers to all screenplays.

perhaps i shall put it simply, "a good screenplay tells a story about people in an interesting way". and by no mean this statement is going to be conclusive, i'm still learning.

I'm going to Korea soon! :)

September 21st, 2006

Today i received a long awaited email from the Asia Culture Forum... finally, after 10 days delay, i've received their confirmation email... at first i thought i don't have a chance already, so i've already forgotten about the whole thing, and didn't do my preparation at all... now i've gotten it, i start to get panicked already!! i have only a little bit more than 2 weeks to write a FULL RESEARCH PAPER!!! gosh... how can i do it!!

but but but.... i need this... for my career, and also to go travel in Korea! so, i don't care... i'm going to break my butt this two week doing a fulltime research and writing and make it to the deadline to submit my full paper! and actually, i have no turning back already... my name and title have already been printed on schedule and website... so if i ever rejected them, i'm going to have a bad name!!! super tension...

here, my name is stated: http://www.asiacultureforum.org/cinema/01program.html


September 25th, 2006

Already bought ticket to Korea on 24th October, cost me RM17XX... sakit hatinya!! but all worth it lah. MATTA fair is so FULL of people, and korea trip is HOT HOT HOT... until the extend i was so worried that i might not even got 1 single ticket to go there at all!!! luckily, found this last 4 ticket on 24/10, rather than 21 or 22 that i originally plan. coming back on 1st of November... 8 days there, i shall enjoy to the max!! but now, it's time to continue writing my paper already... cheers!!

random stuffs ~~

finally my busy hectic days are (temporarily) over!! all the classes have been completed, all the courseworks have been marked, all the final exam papers have been submitted! so i shall enjoy my serene weeks to come, reading books that i've bought and borrowed last few months, and watching wayyyy overdued movies in my shelfs, and doing house chores that takes forever to be done!! -.-"

exam

invigilating is one of the lecturer's duties - although in local uni this thing will be conducted by the exam department... but i do enjoy invigilation. and some will ask WHY? simply bcoz i like to observe people. i have a habit of watching ppl's reactions to things, and be amazed how different everyone is and unique in their own way. and during extreme situation (like exam), it's even more interesting to observe...

some are scratching their head, forehead, nose, cheeks, chin, foot out of nervousness, regret and panic... some are quickly hynoptized by the question papers and doze off... some are looking at the invigilators constantly as if looking for inspirations or looking for chance to cheat and peek over others' paper... some are frowning maybe bcoz what they read were not what comes out, or they are trying hard to memorize all the mental map they have drawn but fail to remember... some are grinning maybe they have the "spot-on" questions or just out of plain desperation... some are constantly watching here and there trying to see if others are suffering just like them or waiting to build an alliance with others... some are just write and write non-stop as if they are JK Rowling working on her new prologue or epilogue (gosh how i hate marking long-winded answer scripts!!)...

well, conclusion is, that 2 or 2.5 hours are normally pretty entertaining ot an observer like me... sometimes when some funny actions appear, i can't help but grin... :P

of exam again

on my last day of invigilation, i was the relief invigilator - meaning if some (bloody irresponsible) lecturers fail to turn up, i have to takeover their (bloody) invigilating job!!! and yes, you guess correct - i ended up invigilating- UTAR mah... what do you expect??

and on my last duty of this semester, i caught someone cheating - so unexpected!! a uni student, hiding a finely written notes underneath his answer booklet, always looking around like scary cat, flipping his answer booklet suspiciously, and reading under the booklet in a weird weird angle - come on, tell me you are NOT suspicious!! (how smart!!)

well, i told the chief invigilator about this, and we decided to slowly take action.

well, being a buddhist (haha), i gave him another chance. i stood just in front of him for at least 15 minutes, i even looked straight into his eyes with a i-know-what-you-did-last-summer look in my eyes (i thot it is very obvious liao)... so i told myself any sane creature would have get the message already. then, someone at the back raised her hand, so i walked over to her and handed her a piece of A4 paper, then i turned back and walked in front again... and guess what? that boy was happily copy the answer again from his note.

so i told myself - you treat me like an idiot, so you shall be treated as one too!! i grabbed the note, grabbed his ID card and exam slip, and reported to the chief and handed him the evidence... DONE!!

no, not done yet, the chief then told me that since i'm the one who caught him, i have to write a report and pass it to the exam department... well, nvm, i'll do that since i'm a bit annoyed and pissed... then only to find out that not only i need to write the report, when the board hold a meeting to investigate or to decide their disciplinary action to this student, i'll have to be present too... WTH!!! i felt like i'm the one being punished for catching him!!

these aside

it has been fun catching up with frens - drinking tea and talking nonsense, and window shop... sometimes it's good to just chill...

of buddhism

well, i was lucky to be exposed to buddhism although i was borned in a taoist family. i bought the ideas of reincarnation, karma and doing good deeds. but i have never have any real motivations to explore these knowledge and really read the books...

i joined buddhist society back in uni, but just for a short 1 semester, then i proceed to the swimming team and life-saving society. i read books but failed to grasp the true and deeper meanings... no one to guide me, being the impatient person, i put all these books aside.

but recently, i've chatted a lot about buddhism with my fren and was happy with the knowledge he told me. he was so kind to lend me some books for me to read. well, this time i shall start with some "easy-learning" books so that i don't get "lost" so easily and then decide to stop again. no no no, this time is for longer time, hopefully for my lifetime!

of my parents and rat

one night, i woke up bcoz of nature-call. after returning to the bedroom and trying to sleep again, i heard a noise resemblance to book dropping on table... i got up, and see a big fat rat standing on my computer monitor rubbing its feet... ok, i made this up, i was too shocked to notice any of its actions at all... i think the rat must have been equally shocked by me too, so it jumped off the table and hide under my wardrobe. i was sitting on my bed thinking and panicking of what should i do next... then in a split second, it sprinted out from the wardrobe towards the door, and squeezed itself thru the tiny door gap and escaped! i felt so relief.... gosh, i'm so afraid of rats!!! :P

then the next morning i told my mom about this little rendezvous, she told me the rat also messed up the reading room and left some shites too... hahaha!! and she knows it has been hiding under the washing machine for quite sometimes and mess up the kitchen a little too... but this time it has stepped on my mom's nerve for messing up the reading. so my mom setup a trap, hanged a piece of fried squid - the ultimate bait for rat!!

we don't have to wait for long, the same night (which is yesterday), after a short 1 hour, the rat was in the trap! my parents said let's take the cage out and killed it tomorrow morning with boiling water... a chill sent thru my spines... "should we??" i asked in my heart... okay, my parents have done that before killing an "intruding" rat with boiling water... and i never had a problem with that last time... but i felt so sorry for this small animal this time... it has done nothing wrong, it's only living its most natural way, and does it deserved to be killed?? definitely no. and there's definitely another way of dealing with this than killing it.

i calmly suggest to my parents that why don't they release it tomorrow to somewhere far... my mom said it will return... then i said far far away lah... no reaction from them... well ok then, i will release it tomorrow on my way to work... they said ok... so settled!!

then later at night around 12am, i then felt bad again about this little creature - it has been placed outside the house, and what if it rains? (and yes it really rained last night in the wee hours of the morning) the rat will be so cold!! so i walked out from my air-conded room, and approached my dad... i told him let's go out and release the poor rat now. with an annoyed look, my dad refused as he still have his football match to watch... i said i just need him to accompany me coz it's late at night... well he told me why so "mah-fan" just kill it tomorrow... well nevermind then, i'll go out by myself lah - i told him.

so here i go, in the middle of the midnight... i drove myself and the rat out to the empty ground near a petrol station 5KM away from my house, and opened the cage. the small creature walked out calmly, turned back to look at me as if saying goodbye and make itself into the longkang. i said "amitabha" and may this return goes to my parents. i am happy for what i have done yesterday night... this is perhaps my little step to practice the buddha way.

this is so hillarious! :P

I have a good laugh yesterday, it lighted up my otherwise boring afternoon!

I have learned a lesson from a security guard

i was walking to the cyber cafe last saturday night. i parked my car quite far, so i have to walk pass this corner shoplot. there's a guard sitting in front of the shop. it was quite late, about 10pm, so the shop was already closed. i didn't take note what kind of shop is that, how come they have a guard for overnight... must be some big company huh... but, that's not my point. i saw this guard was holding a book and read. on closer look, he does not look local - not chinese, not malay, and not indian too... more like a mix Nepal-Bangladeshi kinda man. and again... that's not my point. my point is the book that he was reading... one glance, i gotta know already, it's a dictionary that he was holding!!! YES, a dictionary! an English-Malay dictionary!!

now, the moral of the story... we always have some stereotypic perception about these foreign workers that they are (sorry if my language is going to be inappropriate!!) lazy, not intelligent, criminal, uncivilized.... well, sorta, and we seldom see the other sides of them. that night, i have the pleasure to witness this - a man, searching for knowledge. he came to faraway land to seek fortune, or some are here simply to survive. they have a tough life back in their motherlands, they do not have the opportunity for good education, let alone comfortable life. yet, this guard that i saw, not only he is not lazy, he grabs whatever chances he got to improve himself.

i was standing there, stunned and somehow motivated!! --- i can do my PhD -- no problem at all!! i can get my resources much easier than the guard, i'm earning much better than the guard, i have my family and frens to support me, i got all the privilleges that the guard would never have... so what am i complaining about my life?? it seems that most of the time, the person/thing that hampers us is ourselves!!

i have learned a life lesson from a guard i met. have you?

Click my life away

Have heard about how good the show is from my students... so when i went in to the cinema, i have had high expectation. ok ok, maybe not high expectation lah... afterall, the students are just youngsters who got excited over small things (haha), and Adam Sandler does not get me go hoo-haa too (btw, i purposely missed the Waterboy so what do u expect huh?), so i was a bit cynical at the beginning. but i do have expectation lah. :P



Half way down the movie, i was really entertained. Sandler holds his forte well, the comedies are fresh and fun, although it could be a bit too "sexual"... but hell, this movies are not for children anyway. i like sundance humping a duck, hillarious! but still until this point of the movie, it is still a commercial film as far as i concerned.

it's only when the remote control went uncontrol, or rather the remote control started to get control, the movie takes a quick turn - plot and style wise - into something not fun anymore. the pace is slow, the characters are sad, the plot are becoming unbearable, the message becomes heavy -- that's the time i started to think about the real message. it is truly about living "now". it's just like a extended version of public service announcement, but it's more fun.



i believe a lot of viewers after watching the film, must have thought about the importance of family, friends and true meaning of "living"... it's not about making more money but at the end of the day have no one to share with, and worse, loosing everything you love and important to get money.

but i also believe that after we walk out from the cinema, and walk back into the busy work life, where the pace is just too fast, where everything cost you money, where everyone around you set target and expectation to you, how many of us still care what message the movie send??

a lot of people think that the movie got huge impact on audience, but in this case, the reality still win! nothing changes really, people still busy chasing money, sacrificing a lot to get promoted. everything changes, yet nothing changes, life goes on!

It got me thinking too, we use remote control to change TV programmes... and while we sit on the sofa and watch them... we are actually clicking our life away... maybe it's time for us to have some real activities to be with our family, friends, and loved ones. :)

my rating: 7.5/10

Vain i know.... hahahahaha! but it's fun!

the first time i disagree with Paul Moss

Yesterday night, i was watching one of my favorite show One In A Million. i followed the programme faithfully because

1. i love watching Dayang's steady performance - it's a total pleasure enjoying the vocal expression of an artist without having to worry about the fundamental technical flaws (pitching, tempo, etc) that always happen to amateurs.

2. i love watching Suki's sweet smile and feeling proud of the ONLY* chinese who make it through. she got a powerful voice and potential image to be a superstar - but she is too nice and perhaps even lack of enthusiasm. her form is getting worse every week - it's worrying.

3. i love watching Faizal's creative approach to songs and performances. his voice is simply amazing, his attitude is so positive... and i was so shocked to find out yesterday that not only is he married, he has got a son!!! BIG plus point. i would be very happy if he actually win the million bucks!

4. i love watching Azfar's outdated style and criticize him "kao-kao" after each performances of him... and yet there are people in the audience who supported him so much! that's so funny... and worthed watching! i can't wait for him to be voted out. and if he really has, you all can be sure that i've contributed enough OUT votes to kick him out!!! hehe...

oh, by the way, i love the show because finally this time they have the OUT vote system... although the system is not really transparent. but can't deny, it's just another way to make more money. and if it's abused, it could actually encourage "hate" culture among viewers - worried!

yesterday, for the 1st time Faizal sang a slow number. and i was touched the 1st part, then he became too technical in the 2nd part, so the genuity was lost... but still i like him and his style. then after singing, he was asked the lame question as of what artists can do the society. this young man said artist are role model and educator, they have to set good example and educate the fans. I was all hands and legs, can't agree more.

Then.... out of the sudden, our beloved Paul Moss yawned... "boring... how about those artists who are so popular but doing all the bad things... (something like that lah)"....

all this while, i have my respect to mr. Paul because of his genuine comments... unlike Syafinaz and worse Fauziah Latiff's fakeness... but this time i just CANNOT agree with Paul... come one... artists are watched by millions billions of youngsters, and they do not have to EDUCATE the crowds, but at least please don't set BAD example and influences to them!!! who said positive message things cannot be entertaining?? it's the matter of ETHIC!!! and don't we dare forget about it!! SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY!!!

any of you disagree with what i said, i'm very worried!! i seriously am!

...to be continued!

* i hate to highlight this, but i really like Ching - the rock&roll barbie who got kicked out during the 2nd chance round. i think the judges (or THE judge) were biased!! No doubt, Zai got big voice, but Ching got the whole package, a totally new brand that will sell!!! the judge(s) was totally blind by their own perception. sad sad sad.

i still remember Syafinaz said she couldn't understand why Ching dress up like a princess / barbie doll, but rock on stage!!! i felt like wanted to shake this lady (syafinaz) to wake her up... come on, please don't continue to be an ethnocentric person... go look at Japanese rock chicks... it's HAPPENING to dress up cute but still ROCK!!! *geram betul*

Please support!!! everyone!!!

文良港 (特别是 wangsa maju 区)治安严重亮红灯，上述地点已被列入黑区。
前阵子发生了多宗撩夺案，地方官员也受促加强保安，可是到目前为止，究竟治安改善了多少？为
何罪案还是不停的上演？凶手还在逍遥法外？
身为一名好公民，我们是否应该挺身而出，为了我们亲爱的家人与朋友的安全发挥小小的绵力，
一起推举这项 万人网上签名请愿活动，促请有关当局做出以下几点：http://%20www.you-zi.net/AskForPeace

Respect or ?

there are a lot of different kind of educators actually. well, i used to be student, and now that i myself am an educator, maybe i shall reflect on this matter. there are lecturers/teachers that we respect, or dislike. so what kind of teachers will gain our recognition, while what kind of teachers will be hated?

generally (thru my observation) there are few categories as listed below:

1. those who treat lecturing/teaching as merely a job. this kinda teacher just treat job as a way to earn money to survive. hence, they normally just do what is required of, and they will do just enough... i will see them as just another normal human being. i respect them for their responsibility.

2. those who treat lecturing/teaching seriously and think they have an obligation to educate the students. this kinda teacher apart from teaching knowledge, they like to develop the students to be a useful person. hence they mix around with student in hope of raising them up. i respect them as they are wiser, i respect like an elder, a friend.

3. those who treat lecturing/teaching as a career. they constantly push education to a higher ground. they raise their expectation from time to time, to themselves and to students. it's very stressful to attend their class, as the students are always behind. i respect them for their passion in searching for knowledge.

4. those who treat lecturing/teaching as a... errr.... joke. these are the people who think education is a business, and students as customers. as long as the students are entertained, and satisfied. as long as telling jokes still work to enliven the class, they don't really care whether they have help the students academically or even personally... these kinda lecturers are lazy and always taking an easy approach to teaching. these people i shall disparage.


there are still a lot of hybrids to the above category. but i think i would like to be the mixture of no. 2 & 3, and i'm working towards achieving them. :)

A sincere message from me to all of my students

To all students:

Thanks for all your presence for the talk, it was indeed a wonderful experience to have Ping. he is a friendly guy, but of course you all should have seen him work - he can be very domineering at time, in fact i think if you ask him, he will admit it.

but by saying that, i'm still kind of disappointed that you all did not show much passions during the talk. you all can be very tired, but at least wipe off the boring faces, and start reciprocating with the speaker! i was particularly annoyed when he asked "how many of you have written script before?" and none of you raised your hand although ALL of you UAMB2023 students have already passed up your scripts!!

one thing Ping asked me during our tea was why there's lack of enthusiasm in the class, i practically told him the students are shy and perhaps lack of confidence... and as a supportive friend, he said he has seen worse during other talks else where... but i know he didn't mean that.

i mean, come on, i got you all one of the best director in Malaysia, and you all just being shy about it? as a broadcaster, we CANNOT be shy. i must have told you a million zillion times about it, you all should have a say, an opinion, a perspective about basically everything... talk!! communicate!! or else you can never go far in this industry.

some of you are going to do your industrial training next year, and hopefully all of you will start thinking what area of broadcasting that you are interested in, and work towards achieving it. Ping doesn't mind having you all working for him, afterall you all are cheap labours (sorry about this truth). but please don't be mislead by the joking tone, you all NEED this opportunity to prove that you are worthed the permanent job!! so you all really have to be passionate, and work hard to achieve it. there's no free lunch, and there's no gain without pain. you just have to DO IT! and please start training yourself up in university. don't be lazy... be focused!

a lot of people will tell you, you should have fun in university, because when you come out to work there will be no more fun... what full of craps!! of course we have fun during university, but while we have fun, we work harder. there's time to work, and when we work, we are damn serious about it. and then come the time to have fun, and we really have fun! that's the correct way...

the wrong way is putting fun as your priority... then in that case you don't work as hard as you play... you learn nothing, and you got a crappy job... ok, you might get jobs, good jobs sometimes, but you will need to work extra hard to catch up with your incompetency -- then of course working life is no fun anymore.

imagine, if you work hard (while play hard) in university, those works outside are made easier, so you can actually have time and the state of mind to relax and have fun too... it's the matter of the balancing act we are talking about here.

ok, i don't know how many of you actually read this post, and make it till this point of the lengthy essay... hahaha!! but that is truly what i want to say to all of you.

so good luck in your final exam, and work hard if you have a dream.

mr. beh.


ps... i didn't quit the industry because i couldn't get used to the pace and the stress... like what Ping jokingly said. hahaha. we pull each other legs sometimes... we always say he is very authoritative too... hahaha!!! but i quit the industry for many other reasons that accumulated and after much thoughts about it... i just want to clarify this thing before some of you think that he's serious about it... and think that lecturing is an easy way out for me. hahaha. but thinking about it, you all better start improving, of else i would just go back to the industry because teaching does not mean anything to me without you all really appreciating it. :)

正面与负面

人的情绪是很微妙的东西。

正面的情绪 - 比如欢愉，知足，乐观，平静，总能开拓视野，看到机会，并能感染身边的人。
而负面的情绪 - 比如消极，悲愤，哀伤，劳累，却会蒙蔽双眼，裹足不前，更能散发不好的磁场。

许多与生俱来的情绪，好比年少的叛逆轻狂，总要经历岁月的洗礼，菱角方能磨平。我们常说要学懂控制情绪，更有人高喊EQ万岁，但真正能把情绪收放自如的又有多少人？

多少憾事，还不是在后悔那一刻的情绪失控？
多少不悦，还不是情绪在作祟？看清事实的真相后，少不免嘲笑当时的小题大做。

在探讨情绪的话题，不妨也谈谈是什么引发某些情绪。我本身还是认为就是“正面及负面”在作怪！

当一个人的脑子充满了负面的想法时，他就
1. 只会注意到不好的事情，因此引发不满的情绪
2. 猜测别人背后的意图不傀，因此搞得自己疑神疑鬼
3. 语气及言语上都不会太好，因此身边的朋友不是受他影响，就是不敢吭声

反之，若一个人心里总是正面的，他就
1. 对一切从容面对，因而得以平静
2. 会看到身边美好的人事物，因而心生喜悦
3. 常善待他人不妄语，因而朋友都乐于亲近

正面及负面说来禅味十足，其实不难了解，但却也做来不易。谁不懂心存正念，但污浊的社会和人群总是每分钟不断的试探及诱引我们跌入负面的情绪及想法。但我还是要相信人性本善，只要我们先明白这些道理，才可能鞭策自己善待自己及他人。我们都要加油！

ps. 今天我相信与友人因误会而在口角上发生了一些争执，双方都不肯退一步。老实说伤了和气，也让我自己的情绪变得相当负面。若你读到了，先说对不起。我突然想到证严法师说过的，对朋友要如同君子之交，我们可能都太熟了，而导致言语上没有忌禅，若真这样而让友情蒙上阴影岂不可惜。

安全走影地带 - 8月份电影欣赏会

从南洋周刊看到这影展的消息，贴上来让更多人知道。
Have read about this film screening info from Nanyang... and think they are good films.... mmm... better than the ones in Japan Foundation one.... hahahahaha!!! so hopefully those interested can go check them out.

movie电影：《昨天》(Yesterday)(2004 南非)
date日期： 19/8/06 （星期六）7.30pm
venue地点： 雪华堂
电影导读： 吉隆坡爱滋支援服务社义工和医生，AiFM《安全考古地带》DJ 张吉安


movie电影：《隐藏摄影机》(Cache)(2005 法国)
date日期： 26/8/06 （星期六）7.30pm
venue地点： 雪华堂
电影导读： 马来西亚注册心理辅导员李志祥，AiFM《安全考古地带》DJ 张吉安


the first film is about AIDS which was nominated for best foreign film in Oscar. i supposed it will be a heart-warming drama, and definitely worthed watching. mmm... this saturday... maybe!

the second film is called "Cache" means "hidden". it talks about voyeurism - well, from france mah - what else can they talk about?? but with Juliette Binoche, it still worthed watching lah!

Mohamed - the undergrad with 1 leg

the second video is about this guy who studies in UUM. he is born with 1 leg, but this doesn't stop him from being happy and achieving things.

now, GuangMing Hero Award is not about great great achievers... the recipients are just ordinary ppl like you and me, but they possess certain extraordinary spirit and determination, gone through some ups and downs, and they show us great humanity... so they are GREAT in some ways!

I have written about him here!

王荣民 - 竞走英雄

This is one of the minidocumentaries that i produced last year for GuangMing Daily's "GuangMing Hero Award". although these videos were produced in a rush, but i watch them from time to time to remind myself of either how lucky i am, i shall not be lazy, everybody should have dream and work hard to achieve it... etc... in short to motivate myself!! just look at the spirits of these people, then we will know that we have not done enough for ourselves, for the society.

so here, i would like to share with you all these videos... starting from this old man. he was 91yo last year, he still very much into jogging and joining walkathons. i cannot imagine myself being as fit as him when i'm his age. and what's more, the prizes and money he won from these runs, he would donate them to charity -- mainly to chinese private schools for their fund... mmm... how noble!!

PhD - think!!!

Met up with a fren this week... she is currently doing her PhD in Japan. and yup, for those who knew me for a long time might still remember that i applied for the Japanese scholarship last year but failed... no no no, i don't mean i want to apply for that scholarship again, in fact i've lost interest in that. but what i want to know is the PhD itself? what is it? what do i need to do?

this girl told me it's hard to do PhD in Japan, a GOOD candidate will normally spends 5 years doing it, and rarely, with an exphasis, they finish it in 3 years.... and they are normally required to attend seminars and workshop worldwide, do lectures and publications are big plus! mmm...

then, another fren who is currently teaching KTAR has already registered his PhD in USM... so i called him while meeting this girl 2 days ago. he said doing PhD in USM, there's no course you need to attend, only spend 3 years writing the research... mmm... that got me thinking... don't PhD researchers need to present papers in seminars, publish books, have public lectures, write articles/researches to journals?? is it only writing that 1 research??

maybe every university has own structure and requirement... maybe even every supervisor has own expectation on their students too... i don't know...

but hey, i've been planning to do my PhD, i mean seriously i can go register in USM like now... but there's a lot of considerations in my mind:

1. do i have enough time to focus on research?
2. do i have enough money?
3. do i plan to put my family and frens aside (for let's say 3 years)?
4. what topic should i do?
5. what do i need to do before graduated?

but i think generally it's no.3 and no.4 hold me back... if only i can and may do it long-distanced (part time), then i can forget about no.3... and that also will take away a lot of my free time that i can spend with my family and fren.

and no.4 REALLY hold me down... i don't know what subjects interest me, and will motivate me to work hard... i would like to continue doing my "national film" topic... or i can switch to research on "blogging" or "podcast/videocast"... but both topics has it's pros and cons, and nothing really excites me at this point of time...

hai...... life's so difficult...

Please give bloggers a break!!

This news came in as a shock to me!!!

Read the news here!

finally this moment has arrived, when the control of the authority has reached blogs... they no longer feel secure with the extramural freedom of speech enjoyed or abused by the bloggers nationwide.

on one hand, i agree that blogs could be abused, and people do spread slanders and arouse dissatisfactions that might hurt the nation's development and harmony. but on the other hand, with this warning of controling bloggers, i'm very worried that the power in our government's hand will also be abused to merely control information that potentially hurt the ruling parties and dominant groups. if now, bloggers feel "safe" to expose cases like violence in UPM, schools and comment freely about their frustrations of the inabilities of the police towards snatch cases etc... they will be afraid of being sued or accused of defamation and slander, and worse -- ISA. in return, a lot of cases will again be covered... or worse, manipulated for their own advantages!!

look, it is only with blogs and podcast and videos online that the majority of the publics got to see the "real" event that day, and finally realized that the mere saga of the "handshaking" drama organized by the UPM themselves without involving the victims (Student Progressive Front )... this would have been easily get passed and forgotten by the general public last time... but now with blogs and videos, ordinary people like you and me are no longer information-handicapped, and hence will be able to understand the truth, and therefore will not be fooled by respective party...

and now, with the control, or warning... bloggers will not be so daring to expose the truth because they are afraid of the lawsuit... how sad it is!!! that for so long, we finally enjoy a bit of freedom of speech and is quickly taken away.

My question is: are the people so naive and easily manipulated by the information they receive? if that is the case, all these years of education really just washed down the drains... and we should start looking into the quality of our schools, and our teaching methods of spoon-feeding. if not, let's start feeding them with a lot of informations, so that our people become knowledgable and intelligent enough to know how to make sense for themselves. BLOCKING OF INFORMATION is not a solution. if it is, we should just banned the tobacco business straightaway if we want to educate the public about the health threats of smoking.

please give bloggers a break!!

Japan Foundation's Film Screening

The film screening is on again. the timetable as below:

1. Pekin no Suika (Beijing Watermelon, 北京的西瓜) 5th August 2006 4.30pm
2. Mainichi ga natsuyasumi (Summer Holiday Everyday, 毎日が夏休み) 19th August 2006 4.30pm

Venue: mini auditorium, MTC, 109, Jalan Ampang, 50450 KL
Contact: Japan Foundation 03-21612104
Transportation:
LRT - Dang Wangi or KLCC LRT Station
Bus - Intrakota No 23,24C,34C Metro No 28
Cityliner No 174,175,176,182,183,185
KL Monorail - Bukit Nanas Station

The screening is free, with the comfortable seats and hall, it's worth going.
For those who want to know how to get there, you may take the LRT to KLCC, once you find your way up to the main road, Jalan Ampang, you should start asking people where to go to ZOUK, or Sekolah Lai Meng. MTC (Malaysia Tourism Centre) is just beside ZOUK, and opposite Lai Meng. Easy bitsy.

This saturday, the film is "Pekin no Suika" directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1989 color. The film is based on true story to follow a greengrocer, Shunzo's experience in helping poor Chinese students. with his generous (obsessive) helps, he got his own business and family into trouble, and in turn helped by the poor chinese students.



don't ask me whether the film is good or not, i will write review only after saturday (if i go). but from the look of the photo, and the storyline, it could be just ordinary. haha. but since the screening is free, if you have time, or want to experience some movies that's out of the mainstream Hollywood, why not?

La Caja 507

So, on Wednesday night, me and few colleagues and friends decided to catch a free movie screening in UM. it's "La Caja 507", a spanish film.



first of all, the place where we watched this is kinda wrong already... it's like conference room, a big one lah, situated in the Faculty of Linguistic in UM. but then again, the light's off, it still look like a cinema hall to me.
(i so hope that UTAR will finally have a movie club, and then we can screen movie weekly in a proper theatre hall or something! and i seriously think that the students of broadcasting shall pick up the responsibility to do so -- they just watch too little films!! sigh... )

secondly, when it's stated there Spanish Film Festival, we expected to see some arty farty national cinema... but it seems that the film is a spanish commercial/mainstream movie. so we were disappointed in general. simply because our expectations were not met, and not because the movie is not good!



La Caja (pronounced La Caha) means the box... box no. 507 is the key to the story. it talks about a banker - Modesto, whom unluckily become the target of a group of bank robbers. they tied him up and drugged him, while swipe out most of the safety boxes. after Modesto woke up, he vomited in box 507, and discovered some strange documents from the box, which are related to his daughter's death 7 years ago. as he pursued the truth, he revealed even bigger scandal.



the story is very flesh and original, you can't really predict what's going to happen next. the actings are believable. and i particularly think that the control of pacing is great... there's no single boring plot, very energetic film. but like i said, because we went in with different set of expectations, all these strengths only appeal to me after i reflected on the movie. i was originally hoping for some Almodóvar rather than this.

my rating: 7/10

说话的艺术

在某网页看到以下的文章，颇具意思，转载来与大家分享，共勉。

( 点击此阅读 - 说话的艺术 )

说话当然要有艺术。否则说再多名言金句人生真理，说得不好听刺耳，没人听得进去事小，得罪人多事大。倒不如别说的好！

偏偏很多人不懂这道理，认为自己说的是对的，别人听不进去是别人修养不够。比方说，我有个朋友，小强，在百货公司逛街，突然遇到一个女孩正在头痛着该买哪一件衣服。他人心肠好，看不下去她的困境，便上前帮忙。原来那女孩在考虑着该买同一款式的红色还是蓝色的衣服。

强：买红的吧！
女：为什么？
强：你这么苍白，穿红色的衣服，不是更显得你脸色不好！
女：谁要你鸡婆？

小强回来后跟我投诉那女孩多没有修养，他说的都是事实，她听不进去就算了，干嘛骂人鸡婆？真的是好心被雷劈！

我只好跟他说，说话也要有艺术，说得不好就是得罪人的艺术。他应该说，“穿蓝色的吧！比较称你白皙的肌肤。”

他瞪了我一眼说，“我不屑说奉承虚伪的话。”

我说那就算了，我对你说得出这些话，也预了你会说我虚伪。大不了什么都不说，免得你骂我鸡婆。说了就要承当后果，别事后骂人没修养，好心被雷劈。

对，我就是冲着他骂！他又狠狠的瞪了我一眼，然后走开。从此不再跟我说话。事后我想，也许当时我也应该奉承着说虚伪的话，那他就会听我说了。哈哈。看来，说话的艺术，我也要多学着点！这跟学历智力无关。

Re-cycle

OK, i admit i went to watch this movie due to the actress, patriotic mah. :P but i am still amused by her performance in "the eye".



the movie, according to a lot of audience, is a boring piece, a let down. but i, on the contrary, like this movie. disappointing? perhaps you went in with an expectation to see a typical horror movie, or wanted so much to be scared - maybe only the first half an hour of the movie satisfied your need, the rest is just a... well, letdown.



it is actually a serious arthouse movie, i mean the subtext - if not the text. it talks about the things, the people, the ideas, the memories that we've forgotten or taken for granted. all this forgotten materials are kept in a secret realm, and will get recycled once it's been totally forgotten. ok, it sounds illogical, but when all those sepia-toned images appeared in front of my eyes, i got such a nostalgic feelings - especially that merry-go-round and the old library. they sorta summarize what i wished for in my childhood, a mysterious circus and a room full of books to read... but when all these appear in a forgotten land, i was like getting a slap on my own face -- i have forgotten about all these things too!! i no longer got attracted to circus, fun fair, not even merry-go-round anymore. i no longer crave for books, no longer enjoy the fantasy world of a book anymore... what a shameful feelings.



so, yes, it's the "recycled" movie idea of "Alice in Wonderland" or "Wizard of Oz", but this is a much gory one, and a more adult version. it talks about how Lee Sin Jie, the protagonist, accidentally bumped into this realm of forgotten land, and trying hard to find her way out. (i shall not be a spoiler and tell you how the story ends) the setting of the "wonderland", in this movie it's the "recycleland", is simply wonderful -- of coz you can't compare it to the multi-billion-budget Hollywood movies. The mood is right, the young girl's acting is superb, the old man's acting is good, the main actress' acting is... errr... forget about it... :P

ok ok, i have to admit the last scene of the movie has gone over the top... ok ok, even the 2nd last scene is a bit cliche... ok ok, so the pace of the movie especially in the "wonderland" is draggy like hell... (ok ok, i know i mumble too much without reviewing much about the plots, character development blah blah blah)... but so what, i enjoyed the movie, i got my own imagination running throughout the film, and that's enough for the price of a ticket.

rating: 6.5/10

Superman Returns

yup, i've been wanted to watch the movie when it returns after so many years. hehe. me and frens even went to Cineleisure 2 weeks before the premier only to find out that the movie was not on yet... hehe, really paiseh!

few reasons why i wanted to watch the movie:
1. to experience my childhood again, i remembered quite well that superman's series are among those of my early exposure to movie world.
2. to feel the heroic actions of superman all over again, and to believe that there's a savior to the world.
3. to listen to the theme music again, and be (somehow) motivated.
4. to go watch Kevin Spacey, he is my all time favorite actor since American's Beauty.
5. to witness the mysteriously LARGE bulge of the actor as reported by newspaper, which also claimed to have been altered digitally. i wanna see for myself how are they going to shrink it, and if i can spot any scene that is not edited... wuahahaha! :P


so yes, finally me and a few frens went to Cineleisure for the wednesday cheap session of the movie...

the review:
all of the above reasons to watch the film failed...
1. soon i realized i can't have my childhood back, it has long past, no more fantasy... sigh... can't deny the fact that i AM old already. -.-
2. i realized i don't believe in hero anymore. all of us have to depend on ourselves. and it's very clear that superman is just a product to sell - he's NOT real!
3. when i listened to the theme song while the "planets" credit sequence is shown, i finally realizeed that i've mixed up Star Wars' theme song to Superman's theme song... hahaha!! paiseh... :P
4. Kevin Spacey just didn't perform, or he has no chance to perform at all. the director has done an appalling job to design this antagonist. it's very superficial and have no weight at all. audience don't get to know who this Lex Luther is, seriously, let alone giving him a childish and somehow moronic motivation to create an island!!!??? come on, who are you kidding??
5. well, don't get to see the gigantic manhood -- it looks normal to me! (my frens rolled eyes to me) wuahahaha! i wonder if the news is true or it's just promotional. but seriously, why the media make a fuss out of it?? does superman need a super willy in order to appear super and to save the world?? sigh... -.-"

my fren complained to me 1 hour down the movie and said, "where is the story going? i don't even know what's the important plots or core of the story yet!!" very very true... i think the script is poorly written, the tension and the conflicts didn't build up at all the first half of the movie. too much of reminiscence slows the whole movie. the last 30 minutes of the movie only the pace picked up, which is a little too late. then everything followed happens too fast too rush.

another fren told me after the show that he fell asleep for at least half an hour in the first part of the movie. he asked me what have he missed. nothing, i answered... that shows how bad this movie is!

okay lah, the special effects are good no doubt, the colour of the film is superb too. technically, nothing's wrong with this movie! but it's just not enough in so many fundamental aspects - storyline, structure, character design, control of the pace....

my rating: 5/10

The memory

This one is more like a memorial kinda music video to record our quarter and practises and also the recordings done in studio. None of the shots are planned, just like a big collage of everything and happy moments.

Final video - Concern

This video was directed by Kun Cheng, i was the DOP/cameraman and Kang Tak was helping me. we kinda want to try out animation, although the final result was not all satisfied, but it's definitely one hell of an experience. talented Kun Cheng do all the drawing and design, while i edited it. it took us 1 day to shoot and 1 week to edit, not included those days he used to draw and plan the whole thing.
The song itself has stayed in the AiFM's "Our Chart" for many weeks and has managed to stay at 1st place for 2 weeks. Sang by jookyie.

The fourth video

This one is called "Ostrich", i was the cinematographer and editor, and was directed by Sally, and one of the singer/talent is jookyie. do checked it out, we have tried to show the beauty of USM and penang, and our version of Twins. :P

The 3rd video

the 3rd video i'm going to present to you all is titled "the 3rd hand". hahaha... it was produced by me (i mean all videos in this album were produced by me anyway.. hehe...), but it was not directed nor shot by me. i edited it, and scary enough i acted in it. :P wuahahaha!

Another video

This one is titled "funeral". not directed by me, but was co-cinematographed and edited it. some effects have been put in to achieve a dreamy and old-movie liked mood.

The music video i produced

The following video was produced and directed by me some time ago, last year. the video, together with 5 other videos were produced to celebrate the 15th anniversary of our group "The Wanderers" when i was still in the university.

the whole video has taken me 1 day to shoot and 1 week for post-production. it was my attempt to try out the effect of putting 2 images of the same person into the video. see if you guys like the video or not, and do comment ok. :)

parody and satire... can they be considered as arts?

talking about intertextuality, parody and satire are 2 possible expressions. but can they be considered as arts? that's really arguable.

i have seen steve martin's many movies, and some other comedies, and even comedies that make fun of famous horror movies. extremely funny they are especially if you have watched the original movies, but in terms of production values and quality, even creativity, they are far from being an artform. perhaps with an exception of "scary movie" (don't hit me).

not long ago, a singer in hong kong named 林海峰 (Jan Lamb) have written a song titled 流行曲 "pop song". if you miss the lyrics, you've missed the best part. he's being really satiric about chinese formulaic pop songs that focus mainly on cheesy love story, and how to design the vocal and arrangement of the songs to make it really karaoke friendly... check out the lyrics if you know chinese: (those who know chinese n english, pls help me to translate, hehe)

林海峰-流行曲(粤)

清唱 一开口用喉咙声清唱
这样才会令你为我拍掌
扮偶像派系我理想

感动 段段歌词要写得感动
能够讲鼓舞及明日理想
一浅白易明人就唱 wo

假音 唱到第二段嚟个假音
震音 震爆个尾音至够压场 wo
惨情 我爱你抵死冇好收场
煽情 必两粒眼泪情绪高涨 wo

(chorus)
去到 chorus chorus 要易记易唱 wo
记住要重复 重复 我为k迷着想
仲要 repeat 又repeat 这旋律先算最强
流行曲要大众随时随地唱

点唱 手机响用和弦声即唱
这样日与夜我会到处响
日播夜播就最理想 wo

和音 要大量和住咪我走音
懒音 好有风格人人会跟得上 wo

repeat (chorus)
流行曲要令到全场大合唱

再上再上 呢段要越唱越抢
再上再上 呢段会越唱越娘
争住唱 你记住要出我份粮 (冇钱点唱)

再上再上 乸实块面唱做样
再上再上 一定会断气内伤
三连音 三连音 三连音
三连音 三连音 三连音 音

wo chorus chorus要易记易唱 wo
(repeat chorus)
流行曲 唱就唱 咪求其是但唱

我首流行曲 一定中 一定爆
争住点唱 攞硬奖


download the song!
(you can go download the song from the above link. just right click on the link above and select "save target as")

the funny thing is, he sang this song in a really typical chinese pop song format, followed exactly what he is satire of in the lyrics! funny... now this is what i call an artform... a personal statement that has been made!

then, just last week, i also read a really satiric blog by Kenny Sia... entitled "kenny sia attempts to write a bimbo blog"... his version of parody towards highly popular bimbo blog... damn funny... go read his blog in the following link:
read this first.
and also you can read the bimbo blog his was refering to here:
then read this!
both are funny!! i like them... wuahahaha!!

如果还有明天 - 纪念薛岳！

一个生命力如此强的歌手，虽然顶着被肝癌侵蚀得不堪的肉体，却仍然坚持做专辑开演唱会，我又怎能不感动？忘了那一天电台播着《如果还有明天》，摇滚的节奏，我发现我竟然可以跟着哼起来。新歌吗？怎么我会唱？旧歌吗？是谁的啊？有种熟悉的感动。直到又有一天在电视上看到MV，才猛然记起薛岳，那个曾经用他的生命鼓舞我的人。在他最后一场的演唱会，他披着火红的衣服，挥动着一头长发，狠狠的哭诉“如果还有明天”。两个月后他就死了，只留下这首歌一直在我脑里盘旋。


如果還有明天
演唱:信/薛岳/柯有倫


岳:我們都有看不開的時候　總有冷落自己的舉動　
岳:但是我一定會提醒自己　如果還有明天　

信:我們都有傷心的時候　總不在乎這種感受
信:但是我要把握每次感動　如果還有明天

岳:如果還有明天　你想怎樣裝扮你的臉
信:如果沒有明天　要怎麼說再見

信:如果你看出我的遲疑　是不是你也想要問我　
信:究竟有多少事還沒有做　如果還有明天

岳:如果真的還能夠有明天　是否能把事情都做完
岳:是否一切也將雲消煙散　如果沒有明天

信:如果還有明天　你想怎樣裝扮你的臉　如果沒有明天　要怎麼說再見
岳:如果還有明天　你想怎樣裝扮你的臉　如果沒有明天　OH～ 要怎麼說再見

岳:如果還有明天　　信:如果還有明天
岳:你想怎樣裝扮你的臉　　信:裝扮你的臉
岳:如果沒有明天　OH～ 要怎麼說再見

[柯有倫:RAP部分]

1990的秋天　演完最後一場　生老病死的對話　送來新的希望
下雨了下雨了　那是你的眼淚嗎　將我淋濕可以嗎　讓我感受你的痛啊
笑我吧　不管黑夜是否太傻　笑我吧　走在邊緣只剩掙扎
笑我吧　哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈　還有明天

1990的秋天　演完最後一場　生老病死的對話　送來新的希望
下雨了　那是你的眼淚嗎　將我淋濕可以嗎　好讓我感受你的痛啊
笑我吧　不管黑夜是否太傻　笑我吧　走在邊緣只剩掙扎
笑我吧　哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈　如果還有明天　是否這生命能夠聽的到
希望我們的夢想永遠不會被忘掉　希望有一天 哈 哈　可以再見面

click on this link to download the song by 信，薛岳 及 柯有伦 for a limited time only!
click on this link to download the original song by 薛岳 for a limited time only!


(摘自http://www.cdnet.com.tw/Catalog/ShowPerformer.asp?PerformerID=7)
36歲的薛岳在這一年面對了人生中最痛苦的生命掙扎，卻也在劃下休止符前，他將自己的生命用音樂燃燒到最後，留下燦爛的光輝樂章。
這一年，薛岳真的好忙，忙的卻好有意義。 第五張個人作品「生老病死」及「灼熱的生命」演唱會在多位好友的努力配合下完成，在他走前，他仍不忘記留下這些他熱愛的音樂，希望在音樂裡帶給我們生活上的不同體驗。
作品「生老病死」不僅是薛岳個人音樂上的成長紀錄，從搖滾、爵士風格蛻變為更自由的音樂型式，也是個人演唱詮釋的最佳表現，雖然他在唱片製作過程中，虛弱的身體讓他一天只能工作三小時，過時則可能會發燒、體力不支，連在錄音室唱歌都必須以高腳椅抵住臀部支撐上半身的重量才能順利完成，但是他的毅力和來自生命中的親身感受讓他在唱腔上有著豐富的情感表現。 一張薛岳用生命餘燼然燒出來的作品聽來格外讓人感動。
有人說薛岳的「生老病死」專輯是「捶著傷口」錄出來的，那又何忍答應讓一個身體虛弱的人再去面對群眾舉辦一場「加速自己生命燃燒」的演唱會呢？薛岳試圖要在生命的盡頭前綻放自己最後的光芒，他用信心和對音樂的執著完成了這場於國父紀念館的演出，雖然館內早已準備好救護車和醫護人員，他還是精彩唱完了演唱會！那一夜，不僅是媒體閃光燈的集中地，更是台上台下音樂感動淚水的一夜。
演唱會後，薛岳在媒體寫了一篇文章，其中一段說：「幕總是有起有落，現在對我個人來講，就是落幕的時候了」。　不禁讓人想起了Queen（皇后）合唱團的一首歌The Show Must Go On，歌詞中寫道：「縱然我的心已碎，臉上的彩妝將落，我仍會笑容以待」。　薛岳就是這樣，在人前絕對是張笑容常開的臉，「灼熱的生命」演唱會裡還不斷表現出他的幽默感，但卻也就是這樣才格外讓人心疼。　十月二十四日，他要求剪去蓄留多年的長髮，只因為他「不要再麻煩媽媽了!」， 十一月七日，下午2時零4分，薛岳安詳地走了，他的生命真的落幕了。

brokeback mountain

the movie is actually pretty old school: old-fashioned cinematography and plotlines, the acting style is not over the top. it definitely helped with a Chinese director Ang Lee. he with his poetic touch not only successfully bring his previous "Sense and Sensibilities" to life, but in this film, give the film new breath. i haven't read the book, but i doubt it's going to be this poetic. Music definitely shape the mood. acoustic instrument, solo guitar with often monotonous melodies, create surprisingly haunting surreal ambient rather than a calm one. all in all, a genuine work of art.

i like the fact that the "couple" actually started the relationship with lust, but thru the years, it built up to be a true love. this no doubt is not a breakthrough notion of gay relationship, but often untouched (or actively avoid) by filmmakers (could it due to the fact that it lower gays' self-esteem?). We might question their lustful relationship first, but couldn't deny the intensity of their love after so many years. sadly, it only became clear to Ennis, that the love between them is so strong, after Jack died. don't we all love tragic moments in film? the moment where everything is going on a one-way train heading a wrong direction, and all we can do is sit there and sigh "if we could only turn back time!"?... that reminds me of another line from Jack again, "It could be like this, just like this, always." our life is full of so many "if", but we are never satisfied with "if", but yet we are so afraid of facing the truth hence we turn away... how nice if Ennis decide to take on Jack's proposal to open a range of their own (metaphor for building a family together)... then the ending will forever changed...

hopefully after the movie, ppl will realized that it will only bring more miseries if we deny and dicriminate the gay community. all the gay bashers, even if you don't bash the gays literally, the ideas of your mere existence haunt them forever. look at Ennis, how the image of the death/humiliation of an old gay cowboy left such an impression on his 9 yrs old mind, and the fact that his father could be the person who bashed the poor man even reinforce the resistant he has when Jack suggested to open their own range together... so the pain and misery spread out to both's wives and kids... and it also reminded me of another film that i watched, "The Laramie Project", where there is one scene when the lesbian mother said she was walking down a street with her gf and daugther, a truck passby, the "macho-man" driver looked at them with hatreds, and how she was so afraid that the truck would turn back and knock them... although the truck didn't really knock them... but the thoughts and insecurity that they will, already kill them... and it's not fun at all staying in fears... what am i talking about....??? hahahaha.... guess this movie just give me too much things to think about, and that is how great a movie can get!

i also like the way Ennis's character is constructed. praising the cowboy slang that Heath Ledger "mastered" is superficial... but his mumbling words, he habitually lowered his head, constantly looking away while speaking to people, cowboy hat that cover more than half of the face, all these really make his character become 3D and real... excellent job both Heath and Ang Lee...

Let's see if it will win Ang Lee another best film and best director... i really hope the best for my favorite director (man, Ang Lee's "Wedding Banquet" is perhaps another of my all time favorite movie!)... Go watch it, grab a copy if you can, don't miss it!! standby a box of tissue at the end of the movie if you think you are as emotional as me... :P