三毛说，当人生已不再精彩，留在世上就不再有意义。
我也曾经在忧郁时闪过自杀的念头，但稍纵即逝。所以，我能了解，但无法认同这悲观的想法。
不认同的是，活着真的只为了精彩吗？而人生必然有高潮低潮，难不成每次面临低潮时都要寻死？
我选择了，也宁愿相信，人生是平淡的。没有事发生，就是好事。我对自己更没有过分的要求。
对感情我也秉持同样的态度。我不要轰轰烈烈，只要细水长流。虚拟的完美伴侣，只会彰显现实真实的不足。人的欲望是可怕的，当有不满足的黑洞在心里扎营，渴望将无止境的扩大。长一大把年纪，我已不相信完美的伴侣，只有方便的伴侣。好的人比比皆是，能契合的人也多不胜数，哪一个才是你的完美伴侣呢？难道要骑牛寻马，永远的活在前方还有更好的心灵黑洞中吗？
说着说着，我有点混淆了。安定的生活，安定的伴侣，其实也是一种不切实际的苛求吧！？苦苦追求安定，不也让我这几十年来吃尽了苦头？不也让我心里不得安宁？这是何等的矛盾，何等的无奈。
活着，就已经是美好了。
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
幸福是什么？
很喜欢元卫觉醒的这首《鸵鸟》，它将是我下次卡拉ok时的必点歌曲。哈哈。
喜欢歌词里的认命及让爱的心态。是的，当爱已变质，再纠缠也只是让大家难受。倒不如在一旁默默的祝福，祝福对方能找到他要的真正的幸福。
“我還愛你”再不會說出來。
希望大家会喜欢这首歌。
元衛覺醒 - 鴕鳥
你說不愛了 于是我就承擔
不問我心里想的是相反
陽光很燦爛 我卻笑不出來
它讓我看清楚你已離開
我忍著悲傷和無奈
就躲在房間不出來
無法阻擋時間在快轉
只能把愛藏在回憶深海
不想面對的事學著習慣成自然
我會把愛隱藏到誰都看不出來
它还在繼續卻與你無關
你說不愛了 于是我就承擔
不問我心里想的是相反
陽光很燦爛 我卻笑不出來
它讓我看清楚你已離開
那動人完美的獨白
沒說完你就先離開
就算遺憾我也不推翻
只能把愛藏在回憶深海
不想面對的事學著習慣成自然
我會把愛隱藏到誰都看不出來
它还在繼續卻與你無關
這不是鴕鳥的心態
只是我還無法釋懷
我還愛你再不會說出來
只能把愛藏在回憶深海
不想面對的事學著習慣成自然
我會把愛隱藏到誰都看不出來
它还在繼續卻與你無關
只能讓愛離開回憶深海
不想面對的事只能學著習慣成自然
對你的愛沉默了我卻還在依賴
你要的幸福卻與我無關
你要的幸福卻與我無關
Friday, December 05, 2008
我要去玩了！
柬埔寨，我来了！
其实年中就已决定了要在学校假期走这一趟，当时甚至计划了长达2个星期的旅程，横跨越南-寮国-柬埔寨。但是世事难料，最终还是没有去成，然后就把部分钱拿来读了韩语，为我再一次到韩国背包旅行铺路。
昨天午饭时一个同事突然提起会独自到暹粒跨年并约我同行。坦白说我这2个月的生活非常凌乱，而大部分的事情都在这两周内不在我控制下草草落幕。一旦我还在既有的环境中，心还是会浮浮沉沉的得不到安宁。所以昨晚上网查了机票价钱适中，把心一狠，手指按下enter，一切就这样确定了。
我来了，神秘的吴哥窑。我要沉淀我的思绪。我要埋葬我部分的记忆。我要像周慕云一样，悄悄跟你述说我的故事，然后把它寄放在你那里。
Monday, December 01, 2008
just completed Korean Language level 1
안녕하십니까? How do you do?
만나서 반갑습니다. It's nice to meet you.
제 이름은 마준구입니다. My name is 마준구.
after 5 torturous weeks, i finally completed the Korean Language level 1 course. Today, the result was released and this means i no longer need to go twice or thrice a week to study all these scientific-looking characters... hahahaha, that is until next february when level 2 starts again.
it is actually a fun class. the teacher has her way to "force" us to practise and exercise the foreign language. she often share with us her 9 years experience living in Korea, which is very relevance to learning the language. Koreans are very very particular about their social status - speaking to friends (same status) is totally different from speaking to your superiors or seniors.
this is the October 2008 class:
(pls click on the above picture for bigger version)
as you can see, there are young and old, even a Malay student, in our class. the Malay girl Fatiha is sitting for her PMR this year... and the girl in the middle right behind Fatiha, Lui Xia is also very very young, probably only 13yo? the girl in front of me is my sister. hahahaha, actually the reason i took this course was to accompany my sister, but now i actually quite enjoy learning the language, i think i will continue with level 2. oh, the other interesting thing is, 3 girls here are my broadcasting students, hahahaha, 2 girls in front with grey jacket and blue shirt, and another girl in orange vest. luckily i got better marks than 3 of them, gegegegege, so not so memalukan. :P
today is the last day for this semester, so the teacher, Jane, has brought us some food:
she brought cheese+egg sandwiches, Korean eggrolls (kinda sweet but nice), and of course the highlight - KIMCHI!!! yum yum. hers is very authentic, not too spicy and not so salty also, she used Korean chilli and shrimp paste (something like "jinjaruk" in Malaysia) so the taste is quite aromatic... yum yum!!
at the end of the class, i've taken photo with our dear teacher, Jane.
사랑하는 선생님, 감사합니다.
만나서 반갑습니다. It's nice to meet you.
제 이름은 마준구입니다. My name is 마준구.
after 5 torturous weeks, i finally completed the Korean Language level 1 course. Today, the result was released and this means i no longer need to go twice or thrice a week to study all these scientific-looking characters... hahahaha, that is until next february when level 2 starts again.
it is actually a fun class. the teacher has her way to "force" us to practise and exercise the foreign language. she often share with us her 9 years experience living in Korea, which is very relevance to learning the language. Koreans are very very particular about their social status - speaking to friends (same status) is totally different from speaking to your superiors or seniors.
this is the October 2008 class:
(pls click on the above picture for bigger version)
as you can see, there are young and old, even a Malay student, in our class. the Malay girl Fatiha is sitting for her PMR this year... and the girl in the middle right behind Fatiha, Lui Xia is also very very young, probably only 13yo? the girl in front of me is my sister. hahahaha, actually the reason i took this course was to accompany my sister, but now i actually quite enjoy learning the language, i think i will continue with level 2. oh, the other interesting thing is, 3 girls here are my broadcasting students, hahahaha, 2 girls in front with grey jacket and blue shirt, and another girl in orange vest. luckily i got better marks than 3 of them, gegegegege, so not so memalukan. :P
today is the last day for this semester, so the teacher, Jane, has brought us some food:
she brought cheese+egg sandwiches, Korean eggrolls (kinda sweet but nice), and of course the highlight - KIMCHI!!! yum yum. hers is very authentic, not too spicy and not so salty also, she used Korean chilli and shrimp paste (something like "jinjaruk" in Malaysia) so the taste is quite aromatic... yum yum!!
at the end of the class, i've taken photo with our dear teacher, Jane.
사랑하는 선생님, 감사합니다.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
another blogger arrested
the same headline was posted in Malaysiakini just now... breaking news...
it is Kickdefella Syed Azidi this time being detained under sedition act. he was caught due to his upside-down national flag campaign on his blog. he is famous also for satiring the politician, especially Pak Lah, with modified movie posters.
first it's Raja Petra, then Tan Hoon Cheng, followed by Teresa Kok.
Now, an ex-colleague and a good friend of mine, Azidi... those Utarians who have been taught by him before must have remembered his wits and humours... this is so depressing...
How many more?? When will they stop using all this draconian acts?
this is so frustrating, one has to wonder what's wrong in this country...
it is Kickdefella Syed Azidi this time being detained under sedition act. he was caught due to his upside-down national flag campaign on his blog. he is famous also for satiring the politician, especially Pak Lah, with modified movie posters.
first it's Raja Petra, then Tan Hoon Cheng, followed by Teresa Kok.
Now, an ex-colleague and a good friend of mine, Azidi... those Utarians who have been taught by him before must have remembered his wits and humours... this is so depressing...
How many more?? When will they stop using all this draconian acts?
this is so frustrating, one has to wonder what's wrong in this country...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
In the midst of marking final exam papers
Half way through marking final exam papers, I abruptly stopped it to give way to my paper writing for my professor... sigh, was supposed to send a WIP report to her yesterday, but i was down on food allergy, whole body was full with swollen, itchy rashes. At first i though they were some kinda mosquito bites, but the next morning i realized they were all over my body and berlonggok-longgok, i know it cannot be... so took the med doctor gave, drowsy and knocked out for half a day... Only managed to send out the WIP to my professor just now... feel so sorry for her... written an apology note... kekekeke, but i doubt it will help with the situation.
Before that, i was hungry half way writing, too lazy to drive out to makan, i cooked myself some spaghetti. just screened through the fridge and see what ingredients available... mmm... capsicum, dried shrimp, tomato paste.... ah, will do then.
1. boil your spaghetti in a pot of water for 12 minutes with a pinch of salt.
2. while boiling, saute minced garlic and shallot until it's golden. Then put in dried shrimp & capsicum cubes and continue saute for 2 minutes or so.
3. add tomato paste, a cup of water, and simmer for 3 or 4 minutes.
4. put in salt, black pepper to taste. if you are up for some hot spicy sauce, can also put in chilli pepper.
5. pour in the al dente spaghetti, stir a bit, and serve.
here it is:
but while cooking, i accidently pour in too much chilli pepper, ok... actually half a bottle fell in, i scooped a LOT out... =.=" so this is like EXTRA HOT GILA MAMI spaghetti.... i tell you, i eat until my sweat and tears "dua lui dua lui" come out!!! but very syok lah that is! :P
Ok, now, back to finalizing my coding sheet, and later will have to continue marking exam papers.... sienz... =.="
Before that, i was hungry half way writing, too lazy to drive out to makan, i cooked myself some spaghetti. just screened through the fridge and see what ingredients available... mmm... capsicum, dried shrimp, tomato paste.... ah, will do then.
1. boil your spaghetti in a pot of water for 12 minutes with a pinch of salt.
2. while boiling, saute minced garlic and shallot until it's golden. Then put in dried shrimp & capsicum cubes and continue saute for 2 minutes or so.
3. add tomato paste, a cup of water, and simmer for 3 or 4 minutes.
4. put in salt, black pepper to taste. if you are up for some hot spicy sauce, can also put in chilli pepper.
5. pour in the al dente spaghetti, stir a bit, and serve.
here it is:
but while cooking, i accidently pour in too much chilli pepper, ok... actually half a bottle fell in, i scooped a LOT out... =.=" so this is like EXTRA HOT GILA MAMI spaghetti.... i tell you, i eat until my sweat and tears "dua lui dua lui" come out!!! but very syok lah that is! :P
Ok, now, back to finalizing my coding sheet, and later will have to continue marking exam papers.... sienz... =.="
Friday, September 12, 2008
Scriptwriting 101 - Evaluation of a script
"Kolsken's photo was teared into pieces, publicly. Maltians of Cheeny heritage were being warned not to be like Joey in US the A, and don't corner the Muays or they will be forced to fight for survival. Ironic as it is, when the reporter asked Artificial Intelligence (AI) what if he is to be detained under Institutionalized Citizens Act (ICA), the reporter instead is being accused by AI himself for being seditious. So?
AI's membership in UMPTE has been suspended for 3 years. So?
A lot of ppl (politicians & citizens) asked for him to be jailed under ICA, but few others said let's not request the use of an unjust Act that we all condemn for so long. So?
The major turn of event: Raj Poomy has been detained under ICA for 2 months. So?
The reporter has also been caught. So?
Even another totally unrelated Meshed Potatoes was caught. So?
They said there's a long list to come. So?
So what? haven't you seen it coming?
There's no hope for this M&Ms country... perhaps until the alleged 9/6. That will be the climax of the whole episode, if it happen."
Short question: Please read the above script/draft and criticize on its narrative structure. (10 marks)
Sample answer: The story is very forced, the build-up to the climax is weak too despite being too obvious. I also think that the role of protagonist and antagonist are blurred, audience will not like to see ambiguity. Personally i think the twist of the story is the major weakness of the whole script, as it comes in unannounced, which only will give our audience a shock, a jolt, but this technique is inferior to suspense which will sustain the audience's thrill for a longer time.
I suggest that the climax should come in earlier, and instead of allegation, which is weak in nature, it should be a concrete plan. Audience needs to feel hope in the story, and not a doomed setting.
In general, the story is unbelievable and unreal, it will not happen in real life, hence audience will find great difficulties in relating to the story. Without audience's involvement, the script will be a failure.
AI's membership in UMPTE has been suspended for 3 years. So?
A lot of ppl (politicians & citizens) asked for him to be jailed under ICA, but few others said let's not request the use of an unjust Act that we all condemn for so long. So?
The major turn of event: Raj Poomy has been detained under ICA for 2 months. So?
The reporter has also been caught. So?
Even another totally unrelated Meshed Potatoes was caught. So?
They said there's a long list to come. So?
So what? haven't you seen it coming?
There's no hope for this M&Ms country... perhaps until the alleged 9/6. That will be the climax of the whole episode, if it happen."
Short question: Please read the above script/draft and criticize on its narrative structure. (10 marks)
Sample answer: The story is very forced, the build-up to the climax is weak too despite being too obvious. I also think that the role of protagonist and antagonist are blurred, audience will not like to see ambiguity. Personally i think the twist of the story is the major weakness of the whole script, as it comes in unannounced, which only will give our audience a shock, a jolt, but this technique is inferior to suspense which will sustain the audience's thrill for a longer time.
I suggest that the climax should come in earlier, and instead of allegation, which is weak in nature, it should be a concrete plan. Audience needs to feel hope in the story, and not a doomed setting.
In general, the story is unbelievable and unreal, it will not happen in real life, hence audience will find great difficulties in relating to the story. Without audience's involvement, the script will be a failure.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
i cooked green curry chicken again... ;)
today decided to cook green curry again, last time when i cooked it, it was an instant hit... hehehe... but last time i didn't have the complete ingredients - lacking in a lot of things such as kaffir lime peel (i used the leaves as substitute), shrimp paste (replaced with salt), lesser/fingerrroot ginger (used more galangaal instead), fish sauce (used soya sauce) etc... so as you can see here... the color really not so ngam lor....
some more, i accidentally cut my own finger & fingernail when i chopped something...
this time, the 2nd attempt, i have gotten ready all the ingredients!!! hopefully i will have a more authentic green curry chicken!!!
all the ingredients for the green curry paste...
garlic, lemon grass, shallot, galangaal, kaffir lime, green chillies, corriander roots, lesser ginger or fingerroot ginger, tumeric roots, fish sauce, & shrimp paste.
then i started pounding all the ingredients............... until......... until i felt so tired and decided to give in to modern technology.... i took out the blender and the rest you know liao lah........ -___-"
so, the green curry paste is readied now!! the outcome.... was too watery, but the blender need water to function properly... sigh... so gotta compromise lor... what to do?
now all the ingredients for the green curry chicken are readied too... only lack off eggplant.... i forgot to buy lah... -.-"
coconut milk, baby corn, sweet basil leaves, cilli padi, kaffir leaves... and of course you need chicken meat lah... preferably slice into small small pieces, easier to cook later.
and wualah....
yeh, i think this time taste more like authentic thai dish lah...
forgot to take pic after everyone ate... not a single drop of gravvy is left... ^__^ *proud*
some more, i accidentally cut my own finger & fingernail when i chopped something...
this time, the 2nd attempt, i have gotten ready all the ingredients!!! hopefully i will have a more authentic green curry chicken!!!
all the ingredients for the green curry paste...
garlic, lemon grass, shallot, galangaal, kaffir lime, green chillies, corriander roots, lesser ginger or fingerroot ginger, tumeric roots, fish sauce, & shrimp paste.
then i started pounding all the ingredients............... until......... until i felt so tired and decided to give in to modern technology.... i took out the blender and the rest you know liao lah........ -___-"
so, the green curry paste is readied now!! the outcome.... was too watery, but the blender need water to function properly... sigh... so gotta compromise lor... what to do?
now all the ingredients for the green curry chicken are readied too... only lack off eggplant.... i forgot to buy lah... -.-"
coconut milk, baby corn, sweet basil leaves, cilli padi, kaffir leaves... and of course you need chicken meat lah... preferably slice into small small pieces, easier to cook later.
and wualah....
yeh, i think this time taste more like authentic thai dish lah...
forgot to take pic after everyone ate... not a single drop of gravvy is left... ^__^ *proud*
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